A Joke's A Joke, Right?
by Tallulah Grammar Songstress
Summary: It was all Mew's fault, really. One practical joke led to another. And now Cube's in prison, and the GGs are angry.


A joke's a joke..right?  
  
Cube was in trouble.  
She sat in the small cell, feet bare, trying to ignore the pain in her ankle, and torn between fury, fear and humiliation.  
She'd outrun the cops. As usual. Leapt away over the roofs of Kogane-cho, skates glittering in the sun. It was her standard escape route. She'd congratulated herself on managing it so neatly.  
She hadn't seen the oil slick.   
Her skates had noticed it before she had. The first she knew, the view was somersaulting wildly, and then she was lying literally in Police Chief Onishima's lap. He'd been catching his breath below her, cursing his bad luck at (as usual) failing to catch anyone and (also as usual) preparing to bark out orders for backup. Then she'd dropped down, he'd grabbed her, she'd tried to run and found she'd sprained her ankle, and to cut a long story short, ended up in here.  
The oil slick. Cube's dark eyes narrowed. The chances of that being there naturally were into the minuses. She knew someone had put it there deliberately, and she had a pretty good idea who.  
Rubbing a bruise on her face, Cube began to remember.  
  
"Where is it? Own up or I'll cream you!"  
Gum ran frustrated fingers through her blonde hair and surveyed the garage. "If I don't find my helmet in the next thirty seconds, someone is gonna get killed."  
Mew giggled.  
Gum skated towards her and grabbed the front of her shirt. "Own up, pussy cat."  
"I don't know what you're talking about!" Mew's eyes widened. "I would never steal your silly helmet."  
"Yes, you would," Gum growled, bringing her face close to Mew's. "Now give it back!"  
"Yeah, come on," Beat called from the other side of the garage. "Some of us actually want to get out today."  
"Fine." Mew rolled her eyes. Cube knew she fancied Beat, who went out with Gum. "It's behind the sound system, okay?"  
Gum marched off to grab her helmet. When she returned, jamming it onto her head, she said, "Mew, if you ever touch my stuff again, you will die."  
"Geez, Gum, calm down," called Piranha. "It was just a joke."  
"Yeah, but it is pretty annoying to have your stuff pinched," Cube pointed out.   
"I wasn't pinching it!" Mew yelled. "I was just joking. Accept it!"  
"Yeah, Gum." Piranha linked arms with Mew. "Lighten up."  
Gum scowled as the gang began to skate out of the garage. She poked Cube in the back, and whispered, "Did you think that was a dumb thing to do?"  
"Kind of." Cube didn't really have much patience with practical jokes. They'd always seemed a waste of time."Why?"  
"I want to teach that stuck up bitch a lesson," Gum said. "Help me think up something to do."  
"Ummm...I don't know. Mew likes her makeup, can't you do something with that?"  
Gum thought a little, then a nasty smile spread across her lips. "Cube, you're brilliant."  
  
Now Cube sighed and wished she'd kept her mouth shut. Stretching out her feet, she wriggled her toes. Being marched down here she'd kept expecting to be able to roll.   
If Onishima has his way, she thought, I'll never wear skates again. That thought made terror rise up her throat. She couldn't breathe.   
Calm, she told herself. Be calm. It's all gonna be okay. Think of something else. Remember it all.   
What did Gum do?  
  
When they got back Mew immediately went to fix her face. Normally Gum jibed at her about being vain, but today she just watched, smiling and waiting.   
She didn't have to wait long.  
"Aaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrggggggggggghhh!"  
Mew rushed out of the bathroom, covering her face with both hands, sobbing. Piranha and Yo-Yo rushed over to her. "What is it?" Piranha yelled.   
"Look at me!" screamed Mew, wrenching her hands away from her face.  
They looked.  
Mew's cheeks, lips and eyes were stained a horrible purple-black colour. She looked like she'd been hit in the face with a blueberry pie.  
"Can't you wash it off?" Yo-Yo said rather feebly.  
Mew turned on him. "I've tried! I've tried! AND IT WON'T COME OFF!"  
Gum sniggered, and Mew whirled round. "You did it, didn't you?"  
"Uh-huh."   
"Well, tell me how to get it off!"  
"It should wear off in twenty-four hours or so. I think. I'm pretty sure the catalogue said twenty-four. Or maybe forty-four."  
Cube was prepared to bet that Gum knew exactly what she was talking about, and just wanted to see her rival squirm.   
"I'm not going out," Mew wailed. "I'm not going out till it's gone!"  
"But Mew, we need you!" Beat looked geniunely shocked.   
"I'm not going to let anyone see me like this." Mew's lip trembled, and she rushed into the bathroom again. The others heard her crying.  
"Well done, Gum," snapped Yo-Yo. "Now we've lost one of our gang. Geez, why do girls have to be so immature?"  
"And there was no need to do that to Mew!" Piranha said. "Just because she likes looking pretty. Maybe you should be more like her!"  
"I don't see why when she plays a joke everyone thinks it's funny and when I do it I'm the bad guy." Gum glowered.   
"Maybe it's because Mew has a sense of humour herself," sneered Piranha, and walked away.  
  
Cube sighed and wondered whether the oil slick was Mew or Piranha's idea. It was crazy, but they'd put up with a lot.   
After the makeup episode, Gum had found someone put purple dye in her shampoo. Cube had hoped that going around looking like a circus freak - The Amazing Purple-Skinned Female - would make her stop it, but no luck. Gum had hit back by spraying a tag saying 'Kick me' on Piranha and Mew's clothes. The two had retaliated by stealing everything of Gum's that they could get their hands on; and as an afterthought, pinching Cube's only picture of Coin.   
That had hurt. She had been happy to retaliate now. And from then on she'd been in the war too, playing dirty, feeling angry, ignoring the exasperation of the others.   
The GGs had split down the middle. Yo-Yo liked Mew, and Garam went out with Piranha, so those two were enemies. Tab was Gum's oldest friend, and Combo was Cube's, so they were allies. Slate thought the whole thing was too much effort. And Beat was just trying desperately to keep his gang together and stop it falling apart. It was getting harder.  
And then the oil slick. Cube closed her eyes and remembered the sickening way the view had spun as she fell. The breath knocked out of her as she collided with Onishima's bony knee. Her arms wrenched brutally behind her, and his sneering. And now here. Skateless. Trapped.   
Yep, she told herself, I am in trouble.  
  
  
Back at the garage, the mood was tense.   
"Did anyone see it happen?" Beat demanded.  
"I did," Combo said. "She was skating across de roofs. Then - I dunno - she just slipped. Fell off. I heard Onishima yell out, and then the next thing I knew she'd been caught."  
"She slipped?"  
"Yeah, like it was icy."  
"It couldn't have been ice."   
Mew swallowed, and shrank back against the hi-fi. If they found out what she'd done...And she couldn't even pin it on Piranha. It had been Mew's own idea. She'd thought it up. She'd poured the oil over the rooftops. She'd started this whole stupid fight in the first place.   
"Anyone know what it could've been?" Beat said. He looked round the garage.   
Mew pressed her lips together. If she confessed, they'd throw her out. She'd be a lone skater. She'd be a prime target for police, other gangs, and corporate companies trying to summon up demons. Basically, joining Cube in the slammer would be the nice option.  
"Come on, Mew. You and Piranha have been mad with Cube and Gum for weeks now. What happened this time?"  
"Huh? It was nothing to do with me!" Mew said, the lie rolling easily off her tongue.   
Piranha snorted, and Beat looked disbelieving.  
"Look," he said, "This dumb feud has almost wrecked our gang. If you got Cube arrested I want to know about it."  
Beat was a mild-mannered guy, but Mew wanted to back away.  
"Yeah, come on, admit it," Combo said.  
"You must've done it, Mew, whatever it was. Piranha would own up if it was her." Garam glowered at her.  
"Don't drop me in it!" Piranha put in. "Admit it!"  
Mew shivered as all the GGs began to yell at her.  
"I - I might have - done something - " Her dry throat closed up, and she swallowed. "I didn't mean for Cube to get arrested, honest I didn't - "  
"What did you do?" asked Beat.  
"I - I - " She closed her eyes to block out the angry faces. "I put oil on the roof. I didn't mean it to happen like this - "  
"Oh, ya just meant her to fall off and smash her skull and die?" roared Combo. "Nice going, kitty!"  
"I can't believe you did that!" yelled Gum. "That's the most crazy thing I ever heard!"  
"You started it!" Mew yelled back, feeling tears come to her eyes.   
"No, you did," Tab said. "You nicked Gum's helmet."  
"Oh, shut up!" she yelled at him.  
"Mew, you're fired!" Beat said.  
"How can I be fired? You're not paying me or anything." Mew was horrified, but this was, she felt, an important point.  
"Okay. Fine. You're - er - kicked out! Banned. No longer a GG."  
Gum pointed to the door. "See ya, pussy cat."  
"Fine!" Mew stormed over to the door. She stopped, about to open it, hoping someone would say she could stay, that they were just joking. But they didn't.   
Just as she stepped out into the night, Yo-Yo said quietly, "I could come with ya, Mew."  
That was too much. Stupid, idiotic Yo-Yo, feeling sorry for her - she turned and spat out, "Yeah, right, four eyes. I don't need your kind of geeky help."  
And then she slammed the door, and walked out into the dark streets.  
  
Mew walked for hours. It was a cold night, and she felt deeply hurt.   
Eventually she decided to do some spraying. The walls around her were covered with Noise Tank graffiti, and it was getting on her nerves.   
She took out a pink spray can and began to work. But it was no good. She just wanted to curl up and howl.   
Suddenly she heard the sound of skaters behind her, and turned...  
...to see three Noise Tanks standing behind her. As usual, they were expressionless, but Mew fancied she could sense a certain menace from these three. She swallowed and realised she was still clutching the spray can, and quickly shoved it behind her back.  
"Uh - hi," she stammered. "I was wondering...Uh...could I join you?"  
"I don't think so," clicked one of the Noise Tanks.  
"Please? I've been dumped by my gang, I need someone new to hook up with..." She batted her eyelashes.  
"Which gang?" asked another Noise Tanks.  
"Ummm...just this little gang from two towns over, totally insignificant, wouldn't have heard of them..."  
"Okay." The third Noise Tank surveyed the buildings around them. "Then you must show you're up to it. You must race us to a tag point."  
"Ummm...sure." Mew swallowed. She wasn't sure she wanted to do this, but what other option did she have?  
So she stood on the railway tracks, watching the blank faces of the Noise Tanks in the dim light. The guy she was racing didn't look at her. "Three..." counted the others. "Two...One...Go!"  
And they were off.  
Mew managed to get a good start on the Noise Tank as they both skimmed along the track. They came to the gate leading to the square, and he shoved her back as he leapt through it, but she kept her balance and followed.  
Suddenly her radio crackled into life. Keeping an eye on the Noise Tank, Mew listened.   
"This is Onishima! There's a couple of skaters racing in Benten-cho! Get them at all costs!"  
He sounded almost happy, Mew reflected. That was bad.   
She dashed up a lorry ramp and burst through an advertisement hoarding, slightly ahead of the Noise Tank, she was glad to see. Then down the main street, party-goers scattering as she ran.  
And the police car cut across her route.   
The Noise Tank, behind her, turned and skidded off down another street. Mew stopped and turned, trying to follow suit, and saw seven policemen running towards her. Cursing, she turned left and ran into a nearby building and up the steps. She heard them begin to follow, and gasping for breath, she ran out onto the roof. There was a horizontal pole she could grind along, and then she'd be safe.   
Mew stepped onto the pole. As she began to skate, she heard a creaking noise. It grew louder, and then there was a crack, and then the pole fell.   
She saw the lights of Benten-cho flying towards her, and screamed...  
She felt her hand grip something. A windowsill. She hung on the side of the building, and heard below her the sounds of the cops gathering underneath. She wondered miserably if they could see up her skirt.  
Her fingers were already beginning to ache. If only she was still part of the GGs. Then she would never have got into this situation, right? They'd help her up, or make a decoy somewhere else, or warn her not to use that pole in the first place...  
Part of the windowsill slipped from her grasp. She gulped.  
She felt her fingers moving again. Taking a breath of takeaway-filled air, she dropped.  
She smacked onto some sort of hard material. A shop canopy. Sat there for a minute, and then it tore under her and she dropped to the ground, the breath knocked out of her. She heard footsteps, and looked up to see Onishima and the other cops surrounding her.  
"Shoot," she muttered.  
  
Cube wondered how long they'd leave her to wait in here. Was it to make her nervous, or had they just forgotten she was there?  
Suddenly she heard footsteps. Two pairs of footsteps, one pair out of step with the other. They stopped in front of her cell, and she heard the rattle of keys.  
Looks like I'm getting myself a cellmate, she thought. Suddenly she wished she looked tougher.  
The door slid open and someone was shoved through the gap. As it slammed and relocked, Cube squinted in the darkness and made out a familiar face. "Mew?"  
"Oh. Hi." Mew didn't look too happy to see her.   
"What are you doing here?" Cube asked. Part of her knew she ought to get mad, but curiosity overcame it.  
"They kicked me out," Mew snapped. "I was on my own, wasn't I? This was bound to happen."  
Cube shrugged. She felt a mean sense of pleasure that no one had been on Mew's side this time. Maybe she hadn't meant it to turn out like that, but Cube didn't care. Her ankle hurt.  
"Listen, Cube, I'm really - really sorry about what I did..." Mew said uncertainly, coming to sit beside her on the bottom bunk. "I just got carried away, I think we all did..."  
"You stole my picture," Cube said, feeling her throat tighten.  
"I'll give it back!"  
"Sure. When we're both out on parole."  
Mew grimaced, and gazed down at her feet.   
The door rattled. They looked up to see Onishima.  
"Hey, rudies!" he called. "You know what? If you're good girls, you can be handed over to the Rokkaku organisation. You know what they do to dumb kids who break the law."  
As he walked away, they heard him laughing.  
Mew glanced at Cube. "I thought that crazy company got trashed."  
"Only the leader. The corporate's still - still around..." Cube's hands were clenched into pale fists. She seemed to be having difficulty breathing.   
"What's with you?"  
"Don't you know? They - they killed Coin - they..." Cube drew a difficult breath. "He never came back..."  
"You think they could actually kill us?" Mew asked.  
"I don't know!" Cube's voice broke, and she swallowed and continued, "How should I? All I know is we are in big trouble."   
"Geez, sorry. Why're you so tense?"  
Cube gave her a withering glance. "I think that's a runner-up for Most Stupid Question Of The Year Award, don't you?" And then she turned away and wouldn't talk any more.  
  
Beat felt like banging his head against a handy wall. He looked at Yo-Yo, hardly able to take in what he was saying.   
"Let's go through this one more time." Beat took a deep breath. "You followed her."  
"Yep."  
"You saw her cornered by the Noise Tanks?"  
"Yep."  
"You saw her race them?"  
"Yep."  
"You saw her chased by the cops?"  
"Yep."  
"You saw her fall off the building?"  
"Yep."  
"You saw them catch her?"  
"Yep."  
"So, what you're telling me is we now have two gang members behind bars?" Beat felt his voice rise in exasperation and took another, deeper, breath.   
"No, we have one gang member and one ex-gang member-"   
"All right! You know what I mean!" Beat pressed his fingers to his forehead and tried to think.   
"We're gonna get them out, aren't we?" Yo-Yo said.  
"Yeah." Combo looked up. "I ain't leavin' Cube in there."  
"Hey, cool it." Tab walked towards them. "I know you're all just itching to go in and play the knight, but it ain't gonna be easy."  
"You sayin' we don't even try?" Combo glowered.   
"I'm just saying that we don't want Onishima to get a full set of GGs. We need a proper plan."  
"Oh, and I suppose you have one?" Beat demanded. His head was beginning to ache.  
"I do, as it happens." Tab grinned. "Listen up. The Rokkaku corporation are offering to take over the correctional treatment of juveniles in exceptional cases-"  
"Huh?"  
Tab rolled his eyes. "They're gonna bang us rudies in the slammer."  
"Oh."  
"So, they should be coming to pick up Cube and Mew pretty soon, right?"  
"I guess so."  
"So..." Tab leant closer, and began to explain.  
  
Cube looked up as above them they heard voices. She'd picked up the word Rokkaku.  
"Looks like we're outta here," Mew said.   
They were marched up the steps to ground level, Cube's legs still feeling dead without skates. Six people stood waiting, all dressed in black suits and sunglasses. Cube's heart began to kickbox against her ribs.   
"Hey, I thought you guys all looked alike," commented a police officer as he slurped coffee. These Rokkaku were dressed the same, but their skin, hair and eyes were all different.   
"We're recruiting a greater ethnic diversity," answered a blonde-haired girl. "To show that we're politically correct and can carry Tokyo-to forward into the twenty-first century."  
"No demons?" The officer sniggered.  
"We prefer not to dwell on the misdemeanours of our predecessor," another Rokkaku answered. "These are the prisoners?"  
Cube was shoved forward and the tallest Rokkaku caught her. His grip on her arm was surprisingly gentle.   
She glanced at him - and nearly had a heart attack, for staring back from his face was Combo.  
I'm hallucinating, she thought. Blinked a few times - but no, it was Combo, and he mouthed, "Yo, kid," at her, and grinned.  
Cube forced herself not to burst into smiles. They'd come through for her. She looked around at the other Rokkakus. There were Gum and Piranha, their hair glistening with gel and flat as trainee ski slopes. There were Beat and Tab, talking to Onishima, their faces blank, and there was Yo-Yo, his trouser cuffs covering his shoes. In fact, the only two not there were Slate and Garam.  
She glanced at Mew, who was grinning like a lunatic. In fact, she seemed to be almost glowing.  
Onishima's eyes narrowed. "Heyy...What're you looking so happy about, stripy?"  
"I - uh - um - I'm really pleased that the Rokkakus are finally bringing in greater ethnic diversities. I mean, sure they're taking us away to some horrible unspecified fate likely to involve refined brutality which means we'll never skate again...but hey, it's good see some anti-racism companies at last!"  
Her voice had risen higher and higher throughout this speech. Cube's heart sank. Onishima was looking suspicious.  
"Hang on..." he said, in the tone of one seeing some rather dim light at last. "Where are these IDs you mentioned you had?"  
"We've already shown them to your superiors," Tab said, marching forward. "They stated that if we gave our consent to this...this, we'd have absolutely no obstructions in the transferral of these prisoners. In accordance with Rule 69 Paragraph 7 Sector 6-GG Sentence 22B letout clause, which claims that in exceptional cases of...of incarceration and wilful vandalism, not forgetting the laws of Newton when concerned with obstructing an officer and resisting arrest and in syncopation with Rule 42 Sector C YA, Paragraph 82XCape, Sentence RDRR, Santar clause..."  
Onishima's eyes were beginning to glaze over. The others began to walk out.   
They would've made it if Yo-Yo hadn't tripped over the cuffs of his too-long trousers. As he thudded to the floor, two cans of spray paint fell out of his pockets and rolled across the floor, coming to rest at Onishima's feet.   
All eyes were on the cans.   
"Ah," said Tab.  
"Bother," said Yo-Yo. "Ummm - I can explain everything."  
Onishima picked up one of the cans of paint and read out the label. "GGs paint - If you remove this you will be sorry."  
There was a horrible pause. Then -   
"Freeze!" he yelled.  
"Oh, great," moaned Gum. "I'm gonna go to jail in a black tuxedo. This is so not fair."  
"Who said we were going to jail?" Tab said. "We just stole this from the GGs this morning, as in accordance with Rule 678, Paragraph O N O -"  
"You're just making this up, aren't you?" said Onishima.  
"Yes, and I can't stop," said Tab, looking panicky. "In accordance with Rule 31..."  
Cube wondered if they'd be able to rush Onishima, who was blocking the door, but then he suddenly seemed to spring into action and yelled into his walkie-talkie, "I need reinforcements! These punks are tearing up the police station!"  
"We're not tearing anything up!" yelled Gum. "Yet," she added, running fingers through her hair to respike it.  
Six policemen charged through the other door. Cube looked round the room as they came towards the GGs. The police officer who'd been drinking coffee put down his cup and stood up.   
"Well, at least we're not outnumbered," said Piranha.   
"Get them!" bellowed Onishima.  
A cop made a grab for Cube, and acting on autopilot she punched him. It knocked him off balance, and then Combo swatted him across the room, where he lay groaning against the desk.   
The fact that none of the GGs were wearing skates put them at a disadvantage compared to past fights, but they weren't totally losing. Yo-Yo was a hopeless fighter, but he'd grabbed the spray paint and was decorated the desks, the walls, the cops and the windows with graffiti. At the other end of the scale was Combo, who was not only managing to avoid getting grabbed but was saving everyone else as well.   
"Come on!" Beat ran to the door. "Let's move it!"  
The GGs disentangled themselves and ran for it.   
"Help!"   
Mew was being held in an armlock by one of the cops.  
"She's not a GG," Combo said. "Leave her."  
"Yeah." Gum began to walk out of the door.  
Cube weighed up the odds. Only two cops were still conscious now, and one of them was Onishima. As to the GGs, nearly everyone had several bruises or a split lip, but they were all still standing. Or swaying, anyway.   
"Come on," she said to Combo.   
"She started all this!" her friend complained.   
"Oh, come on," sighed Piranha. "If we're gonna be heroes, let's get it over with."  
Yo-Yo rolled up his sleeves and shook his paint can.  
And the GGs ran back into the battle.   
  
It was later that night.   
Cube shook the can and a silver arc of paint sliced through the grey stone of the wall in front of her. She was balanced on a new pair of skates. Being back on wheels had been like having her feet reborn.   
Should I be scared? she thought. I nearly lost everything. Even now I could be with the Rokkakus. I could be nothing but a police files statistic.   
Should I be scared?  
She finished the tag, and leapt onto the wall. As she ground past glittering windows, the air lashing her face, she heard a police siren far away.  
No.  
This was her life. Maybe one day she would slip up, maybe one day she would fall. But for now there was the speed and the colour. That was what made her life her own. And she wasn't giving that up for anything.  
  



End file.
